Who Is Your Good Friend? Who Is Your Well-wisher? The Human Dilemma in Everyday Living!

Jesus Christ when he lived on earth as a human being some 2000 years ago, tried to reveal the truths about God and what God expects from people. As he knew the human limitations in understanding greater truths, he tried to make his idea understandable to the common folks by teaching them through small stories or parables. [You may read all the parables of Jesus and meditate about those by clicking this link. Thanks to the people who have compiled it!]

Now we often find it difficult to get a good friend even while we are surrounded by scores of friends and relatives. Unfortunately good Samaritans are difficult to find. While we all have many friends, acquaintances and family relatives, we many not find any good Samaritan among them when you need it most.

The good Samaritan in the parable as told by Jesus was perhaps a non-Jewish man from Sumer regions adjoining the land of the Jews. Jews of that time did not approve of their culture, civilization and religious beliefs and hence it was almost unthinkable for them to imagine to have any thing good from these peoples.

But Jesus purposefully made the good man who helped out the wounded and helpless Jew without expecting any thing in return as a man from Sumeria. A totally unexpected person who would extent all out help to a helpless man in utter need of some help!

There could be occasions when we find such good Samaritans in our lives too. Most often it is not the friends and relatives who extent us the help we badly need at times. In those most difficult times, sometimes the agencies of God come to our aid through such good Samaritans.

When it happens, it is quite human for us to think about all those on whom we have been relying too much, only to find that they had deserted us on the times we needed their support most. Naturally that gives much pains.

I have experienced that. Perhaps those near to me might have experienced such a thing from me even. I might not have been in a position to help some of them during the times they needed it from me most.

Humans have a great weakness. They want to be friends and relatives of those who are better of. If you are somebody countable in the society, people respect you and would be eager to help you, even when you are not in any need for any such help. But the moment your weakness gets exposed, 99 out of 100 would desert you. This weakness of humans has originated from the animal trait of imitation that is within us. Just as a chimp would like to imitate the superior humans around it, inferior humans would try to imitate those humans around them whom they consider as superior. Hero worship in humans is due to this. Knowingly or unknowingly, we get a type of satisfaction when our boss or wealthy neighbor or wealthy acquaintance or a relative holding some influencing power show some friendly gestures. 

On the other hand we get elated and feels like a king when some of those humans whom we consider as inferior show some respectful friendliness towards us. This is due to another peculiar mind trait that is within us. All of us want to be some kind of a king or a boss! 

Humans help each other expecting reciprocation. But such friendships are often based on our complex mind entangled in what is termed as the god-dog syndrome. We help others when we feel as gods to someone or when someone forces us to be like serving dogs or servants. 

Else, we commercialize our services to others. The entire system of trade and business is depended on the unique manner in which humans have learnt and implemented the money system. Money is nothing but the measure of the value of our services to our fellow men!

But when we rise above these and does some selfless service to others, we learn to transcend beyond our human weaknesses and acquire godliness. 

Such gestures too come from us occasionally. Many of us do selfless service to our fellow men and women who are in need. While some of us have ventured in to the task of pooling our selfless efforts and gestures, a greater number of us are cleverly transforming such efforts for our selfish purposes!

A good majority of us fail to do understand the need of others and extent help when they need it most. We are often suspicious of others and their motives and hence fail to recognize reals from fakes. Because we live in a world which is full of deceptions than good. And we are all part and parcel of this world.

I have written some time earlier about our selfishness and pride that prevent us from getting nearer to God.

When I decide to share my problems with some one whom I consider as my well wisher, I am seeking and exploring my god given options of good fellowship from my human brothers and sisters. God wants us to be compassionate to each other. But many often we are failed and pained by the breach of trusts that we face from our near and dear ones. Those of whom we considered as our own fellows who would be of help and support would do such things to ridicule and mock us from behind us taking advantage of our exposed weaknesses!

Even Jesus faced such a betrayal from Judas who had been his trusted disciple for quite some time! Remember, Jesus too faced such a thing when was apparently becoming weak and appearing as helpless. Judas would have never done such a betrayal had Jesus displayed his power and position!

Again we betray others because of ignorance. We want to belittle our friends and gain an edge over them because we have that irresistible desire to become a king for some time. We want that power of the king to display our pride and superiority over others and many of us consider the best place to show off is in front of those who know us well. So a friend or relative asking for a help would immediately gives some ulterior ego satisfaction in many of us. At that time we use to retaliate and show of our kingly nature!

How sad! Is it what God wants us to do? 

Could we find good Samaritans among those around us? Could it be possible for us to be a good Samaritan to others? It is indeed a dilemma that we face in our daily lives. Remember, this dilemma is faced by all regardless of their wealth and position, quite often.

But to realize more about it you need to comprehend it in a much deeper manner. 

If you have not yet comprehended it, read that good Samaritan story that Jesus told and meditate over it. 

But you could do that meditation only when your pride level is conducive for that! 

How Often You Do Like This Knowingly Or Unknowingly ?

Today I thought of writing about some observations that I have noticed in some of my friends and acquaintances around me.

These observations became noticeable to me because of the marked negativity or ill feelings that perpetuate slowly and silently.

Those around me too might have observed such negative attitudes in me too on various occasions.

Normally we avoid talking about such negative qualities in people around us lest it might create an ill feeling in those who are otherwise close to us. And we do not want such a thing to happen.

But we should also appreciate the fact that unless there are some feed backs about things that we do not like, it may not be possible for those who exhibit such negative attitudes to get a chance to introspect about it and possibly make an effort to correct it. 

I have trained myself to appreciate people who give me such feed backs directly to me. But unfortunately there are very few people who tell me what they did not like in me except perhaps my wife.

But I also know that a good majority of people cannot face criticisms. Perhaps that is the reason that many people shy away from giving direct feed backs about some attitudes that they find in their friends.

Again it is not possible for us to attempt telling about the negative qualities of people who are superior to us or wield some influence or position in the society.

Such people most likely would not take criticisms lightly and on the other hand might turn out to become our enemies the moment we try something to correct them.

Now all these happen because we are all very conscious of our self importance.

And that makes us all egoistic of varying degrees.

When our self becomes more important for us, we start degrading ourselves in mind progress.

Often the highest ego or self importance is felt and exhibited by people having the least mind development.

And such an ego destroys the mind as it works as a mind poison.

I know a friend who tries to become very busy in his office when some of his friends happen to visit him there. Instead of finding some time to talk to his friend who visited him, he would suddenly become too busy with his phones and files that the person who visited him has to make an exit without talking to him.

There is another friend who tries to avoid his close friends if he is in a group of people !

Another one becomes very friendly when he has some special interest and at other times behaves as if he is a total stranger.

Yet there is another colleague who tries to make things complicated for his office colleagues so that he gains special attention.

And here is another one who will tell all kind of excuses to help a friend or colleague when such a help he could easily do without violating any rules.

Now what about this one ? He will not agree with your suggestion or opinion and support you even when he knows what you have suggested is the best option.

There are others who are very willing to seek and take some help from you, but will never do such a thing when a time comes for reciprocation.

There are some friends who tries to tarnish your image and reputation by working behind you in a secret manner while acting as your best friend openly.

We have all experienced this kind of things in our lives and we also do such things knowingly or unknowingly.

When self becomes the overriding thing in life, such things do happen.

And the same self importance make us too individualistic and force us to forget about our fellow beings. The same self importance of our fellow beings make them forget about us.

The more we try to project ourselves the more we downgrade ourselves before God.

Because selfishness and pride are those two things that make us depart from God the most.

These two are the root causes of all sins in this world !

Let me also reproduce some statements from my favorite guide book in this context :

When we are tempted to magnify our self-importance, if we stop to contemplate the infinity of the greatness and grandeur of our Makers, our own self-glorification becomes sublimely ridiculous, even verging on the humorous. One of the functions of humor is to help all of us take ourselves less seriously. Humor is the divine antidote for exaltation of ego. 

Brotherhood is impossible on a world whose inhabitants are so primitive that they fail to recognize the folly of unmitigated selfishness.

Unbridled self-will and unregulated self-expression equal unmitigated selfishness, the acme of ungodliness.

Of all the dangers which beset man’s mortal nature and jeopardize his spiritual integrity, pride is the greatest.

Pride is deceitful, intoxicating, and sin-breeding whether found in an individual, a group, a race, or a nation. It is literally true, “Pride goes before a fall.”

Pride obscures God. If you would obtain heavenly help, put away your pride; every hair of pride shuts off saving light, as it were, by a great cloud.

“Fear is man’s chief enslaver and pride his great weakness; will you betray yourself into bondage to both of these destroyers of joy and liberty?”

"How deceitful is the intellectual pride that precedes the spiritual downfall!"

I am willfully making efforts to come out of my pride, selfishness and ego. I do experience joy and liberty now becoming more and more predominant in me.

Would you also like to make an effort in this direction ?



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