Why Does This Melancholy Deep Inside Me?

Outwardly perhaps people who know me from a distance might regard me as a never smiling, never talking or non-interesting character. But that is not very true for those who know me from closer quarters. For them, I am a jolly go-getter, and they simply like to be in my company. So do I.

There are reasons for those majority around me for whom I am like a moron. Many things where they get overtly excited do not excite me.

To cite a few examples, I am not interested in shopping or more precisely, window shopping, that many people seem to be very much interested. For me, purchasing some thing for fulfilling our needs is okay. Nevertheless, I am not prepared to spend much time for such an activity. That is because of a simple logical realization. There are innumerable products and materials produced and marketted in this world under various qualities, specifications and prices and no individual, however she or he tries, could not reach out to all those at any time. Besides, no one ever needs to check all those for deciding what is to be procured, provided he or she has a stable and rational mind.

It is also not required for me to do an extensive market survey of the products for saving some money or getting the best product becasue, the money I save or the quality I get has much less significance in actual life. That is because, the real necessities of life are very less while we may, in modern times, have several artificially induced needs and necessities!

I truly believe what Jesus taught long ago: man does not live by bread alone! 

Very regrettably, even he could not make his contemporaries appreciate what it actually meant. Would it be any surprise then, if I fail to make my contemporaries understand its meaning? Ofcourse, no one in this so called modern world would agree!

The majority around me are overtly interested in noisy debates over various contemporary areas of their likes and dislikes that include media celebrities, branded gadgets, the game of cricket, the game of politics, political honchos, professional work, money making, sensational news and the like. I have to make a conscious effort to be a hypocrite for getting an acceptance among this kind of a humanity around me. If I don't, there are all chances that I am kicked out from the community of modern day humans. So, to remain my position safe as a modern human, I have to make compromises to my own likes, dislikes and feelings. 

And that causes internal stress even while I make conscious efforts not to have those conflicts affect my peace. To a greater extent, over the years, I have learnt the technique of mastering such stress. But, now that stress has paved way to a kind of thoughtful sadness. Something arising out of empathy towards the blissful ignorance of supernal realizations of my fellow beings! I dare not have expressed that lest they brand me a lunatic straight coming from moon! It is indeed difficult to exist alone among a group of differently oriented fraternity of humans! And that difficulty makes me sad and I keep covering that sadness in my own manner invariably always enhancing it instead of subduing it.

But to tell you the truth, experience of decades, has trained me to contain my deep rooted melancholy to feeble levels rather than to substantial levels!

I read that some parts of this world are better developed than the part where I live.When I explore to find the reasons, I learn that in those places, humans are more trustworthy. They trust each other more than their cousins in my part of the world.

For example, the Danish people are reportedly the happiest in the world now-a-days. I also learn that the Danish people are happier because they do not give too much importance to money. Rather they consider social fellowship more important than any thing else.  

In my region, some how, distrust is the key element of life and true social fellowship without selfish interests are becoming a rarity as the time passes. The growing distrust, selfishness and greed for money among my fellow beings in my part of the world sadden me.

The so called democracy has opened up the avenues for more and more people to become kings without crowns in my nation. Kings of the past had all gone below the ground to get mixed to the soils, but that has not opened the faculty of wisdom in the brains of my country men and women. They kept desiring to become like kings and queens. Not for serving their fellow beings, but with the immense desire to control their fellow beings by becoming the so called political honchos.

The reports say that a mere 928 house holds in India own and control one fifth of the nation's wealth now.

While my fellow being are not so perturbed with this, I truly am. Not because, these households manage to control this huge wealth and money, but because they fail to discharge their responsibilities as custodians of wealth, judiciously. And that makes me sad, really sad. 

I watch the dare devil acts of the teens whose fathers and mothers leave no stones unturned for making their young ones becoming bullies or accomplished master geniuses capable of showing off their superior existence at any cost. Truly they want to be in a rat race even if it means an end like rats! They want to make their foot prints every where! I am saddened seeing them ignorantly trying hard to make their superior human existence degraded to that of rats with their competitive race for material gains alone! They pull and bite each others legs lest no one else should succeed in going ahead in the group than them! In the process of competition, extreme selfishness rules the roost! 

Watching them, I think about their ultimate fates about which they seem mostly unconcerned. It pains me.

It pains me when I see those privileged elders and leaders among my fellow men consistently fail to become role models of wisdom, arising from life's valuable knowledge and experience, to their younger generations. Watching their comic acts makes me sad rather than laugh out loudly over their joker like stupidities! But it is their indifference to reject and condemn the evils of the society that pinches me more! 

It makes me sad when my counter parts behave like walking dead bodies! It makes no difference to them when the deep felt lamentations silently come out of me. My own contemporaries appear as dead already with no worthwhile responses to the various inputs that they receive from their surroundings! 

And so I care much not to let out my lamentations heard out loudly!

When the sexagenerians, septagenarians and the octagenerians among my lot fight each other for money and power with least botheration to their imminent bodily cessation of life, I feel amused. My heartfelt symapthies to those ignorant lots turn out to become a kind of subtle melancholy.

When my blogs about transcendental knowledge get the least reading, it puzzles me and my puzzle turns out to add to my sadness. Should I have written more about those things that my fellows want to hear rather than what I wanted to tell them? Had I gone in that way, perhaps they would have liked my blogs and shared those among their lots. 

But unlike them, my consciousness keep preventing me doing that. My sadness remains as there is none to hear me in this world now.

Being good in an evil dominated locality is indeed a painful endeavour. All the more difficult and painful is when all evils are branded as good by almost all.

Will my lamentations be heard by any one?

How long would I have to live showing off a pseudo-face of artificially made up face of joy?